The Story of SNUV "White Range": Episode 1 - Genuine
Snuv White Range in their distinctive white tins was born deep in the jungles of Columbia some decades ago, but recently resurrected for your delectation and delight.
It all happened during a long summer break back in the halcyon days of exuberant youth.
I was packed off to go and visit Uncle Pablo's "jungle retreat". Initially reluctant to venture too deep into mosquito territory I was sold when pops told me Uncle P had a pet hippopotamus.
I was met off the plane in Bogota by a nice enough chap, big smile, but I did notice he looked about a lot. Must have lots of friends I figured. The Landcruiser had a car phone the size of 2 house bricks. Very cool. In a car! Just then it rang.
"HEY HEY! How's my neffy favoreet! All bueno? Being looked after good? Relax. Enjoy the ride."
I didn't manage even one word.
It was Uncle P.
An hour or so later we were at the hacienda. It was glorious, with lots of security and really pretty "cousins" hanging around. They must have been going swimming a lot because they weren't wearing much. I asked if I could check out the hippos, but my new best friend (NBF) told me they were not friendly at all, and would effortlessly bite you clean in half. Apparently Uncle P tossed a couple of people in the hippo pool just last week and they never came out. He laughed. That was a relief. For a moment I thought he was serious.
Next thing I'm clutching the skinny armrest in the back seat of a Cessna 182 on my way to the Jungle Retreat. At the last moment, the canopy opened up and a short tiny dirt strip emerged. I couldn't help but notice several wrecks at the end of the runway. Apparently in their enthusiasm to help sick people the pilots had tried to take off with too much of Uncle Pablo's jungle medicine and hadn't made it. Sometimes it doesn't pay to try to be too nice I guess.
It wasn't long before I was at the "Medical Laboratory". Not much to look at I must admit, but when I got closer my excitement grew. Wait a minute, I said....what's that powder.... no way.....you're making white snuff! You put it up your nose, right?
Uncle Pablo looked confused for a second, then he laughed, glanced at NBF and said "Yes yes, that's right nephew. Snuff. For your nose. You like snuff?"
"Like it! I love it", says I "though I have to say that that is the whitest snuff I ever saw. We have white snuff too. From India. It is made from the toasted stems and vines in the leaves to get it really strong."
"This is the best snuff money can buy" rumbles Uncle P., "it is The Original and Genuine"
"You can't call it that. That name is already taken by McChrystal's"
"WHAT!" Chrystal too! This guy's got all the best names. Maybe he wants to swim with my hippos"
"Bit extreme Uncle P. Why don't we just call it GENUINE. snuv genuine? Good name. We'll toss in some jungle juices (camphor, eucalyptus and menthol with a dash of secret sauce) and it will be just like Original and Genuine...except on steroids"
And so snuv genuine was born.
Fancy a LINE? GO TO EPISODE 2
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